March 2009

Hello, all. I know it's been a little while since my last update. I've been denying you the pleasure of my posts so you'll lose that nut nice and hard today. I guess I sorta dropped the ball when that whole Christian Bale thing hit, but I have a feeling we'll be hearing more about that kid soon.

As for today's feature, it comes to you care of the second most idiotic state in this fractured union of ours. While Alaska will always take the top prize in that dubious contest, it's got a twisted kissing cousin in the too-big state of Texas.

See, I have a theory about Texas. A couple summers ago I drove cross country with my brother, so the slim majority of our trip necessarily took place in Texas. I can conclusively say that there is no place on Earth quite like it. That doesn't mean there's no place in the universe like it, though. In fact, there's one place in the universe that's quite a lot like Texas. I'll give you a few hints: It's desolate. It's dusty. It shows the signs of potential life but it's debatable whether or not anything can even survive there.

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