January 2010

  • The Future of Simon Cowell

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    no matter what game you're playing, Simon Cowell always winsno matter what game you're playing, Simon Cowell always wins

    For the past ten years, Americans have delighted in/pretended to be offended by record executive and American Idol judge Simon Cowell. But now the venomous Brit has decided to say goodbye to his seat between a black stereotype and drunk, as well as the wildly (now mildly) successful show he pretty much manufactured from the ground up. Unlike other TV celebrities who have decided to loudly exit their programs, there's very little doubt about where Cowell goes from here. He already has The X-Factor, which is pretty much American Idol except with significantly less shame about being one, long sales pitch. Also, there are currently 21 different versions of the show airing in dozens of countries. What does 2011 have in store for Mr. Cowell?

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  • Conan O'Brien and the Happiest Decade Ever

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    It may not be apparent in the things that I write, say and do, but my primary virtue is hope. Though I'm far too cynical to actually believe that all the potential good that exists at the beginning of any situation will actually come to pass, I'm frequently hopeful that at least some of it will manage to blossom among all the inevitable disappointment. So, standing at the beginning of not just a new year but a new decade, I'm positively, though cautiously, replete with hope for all the good stuff that might happen in the coming years. We can all accept that the 00's were a total drag, but there's plenty of possible happiness on the horizon. Case in point, the distinct possibility that neither Conan O'Brien nor Jay Leno will be running the late shift anymore.

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  • Weekly Fix: Bad Hair and 3D Cat-Smurf Sex

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    furries rejoice!furries rejoice!

    Some pop culture obsessions I can understand. The romantic ins and outs of various impossibly gorgeous celebrities help us perpetuate the fantasy that love is beautiful and exciting, it's fun to watch rich and famous people fall from grace when most of us will never reach those heights, and it's even acceptable to pontificate on the most recent nominees for meaningless entertainment awards. But I just don't get why so many people are interested in some of the more bizarre, banal or just plain stupid elements of the pop world. Every week there's some collection of ridiculous stories that somehow qualify as entertainment news. The only reason I can imagine anyone actually being riveted by this stuff is because they're pop culture junkies and they're desperate for a fix.

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