Celebrity Halloween Costumes

Everyone looks pretty silly in a Halloween costume. Even when women do their "sexy whatever" costume they're more than a little absurd. A sexy maid, angel, cat or pirate is still primarily a maid, angel, cat or pirate, pretty much for the same reason that a chocolate bar covered in barbecue sauce is ridiculous. I don't care which side you prefer, the two elements combined ruin one another. But because it's basically what they're designed to do, celebrities have a way of taking the inherent absurdities of things like Halloween costumes and making them somehow more absurd. Let's see what some of our stars went out in public wearing this October 31st.

Generally, I like Mickey Rourke. I think he's a good actor and I can respect his decision to pursue boxing instead of hanging onto his pretty boy looks for the screen. Still, no amount of talent or good will can excuse the levels of horribleness in his costume this year. I'm assuming this insane concoction is supposed to be the quadrillionth iteration of Heath Ledger's Joker from The Dark Knight, but that's just the most likely guess. The Joker definitely didn't wear sunglasses that even Elton John would call over-the-top and he sure as hell didn't have a terrible mustache, either. I can't even tell if that 'stache is fake or if it's just another in a long line of bad decisions Rourke has made for himself. I suppose the costume could just be a random collection of weird stuff, but I sincerely doubt it. It's possible that Rourke just fell into a giant pile of cocaine and put this outfit together thinking that he looked like a million bucks.

I'll say this for Today Show co-host Hoda Kotb's costume, Yoda has never been more frightening. That image is seriously freaky. The entire crew over at the Today Show dressed up in Star Wars regalia, some more convincingly than others, but Kotb takes home the prize for terrible over-use of the makeup department. Given that she's roughly three times the famous Muppet's height and she's still wearing lipstick, Kotb came out looking like a monster from a Guillermo del Toro movie, only less whimsical and more nightmarish.

This hunk of grotesque serial killer is none other than James Gandolfini, who apparently still resents the fact that he wasn't cast to play Machine in 8mm. He didn't just labor down the sidewalk is this genuinely, though unintentionally, scary outfit. He took his kid out trick-or-treating. If I opened my door on Halloween night and saw this standing at the end of the driveway, I'd hand over the entire freaking bucket of candy and lock my doors.

Kyle Maclachlan either went as a Jackson Pollack painting or somebody threw up on him and he's being really gracious about it. I don't really care which one. Kyle Maclachlan can do whatever the hell he wants because he's Kyle freaking Maclachlan. If Sex and the City couldn't make me hate him, nothing can.