Lurie Welcomes Michael Vick to Eagles with Puppy

Former film producer and current owner of the Philadelphia Eagles football team Jeffrey Lurie came under fire this week for providing a controversial gift to his newest acquisition, infamous quarterback Michael Vick. Vick, who played for the Atlanta Falcons until his prison term beginning in 2007, arrived in the City of Brotherly Love to a chorus of barks and howls from his new best friend, a six-month-old male Weimaraner.

According to Lurie, he "got up super, extra early" on Thursday morning to give the pup a bath and arrange a large blue gift bow on its collar. The present was a complete surprise to Vick, says his agent. The quarterback came to Philadelphia expecting a quiet business dinner and an uneventful hotel stay. Because the Philadelphia Radison Hotel does not permit pets without prior notice, with the exception of seeing-eye dogs and official therapeutic animals, Vick was forced to leave his room early Thursday evening. Reports have Vick currently staying at the home of Jeffrey Lurie.

When a photograph of the puppy exchange leaked to the press on Thursday afternoon, several animal rights groups expressed their outrage. ASPCA volunteer Kim Shaw called Lurie's gift a "tasteless and disappointing decision" while an anonymous commenter on the official PETA website forum threatened to kidnap Lurie, set fire to his house and (expletive redacted) his mother, Nancy Lurie Marks, with a fire hose frozen in liquid nitrogen.

When asked whether or not he was aware of Vick's highly publicized conviction for dogfighting, Lurie responded, "Look, I know what the law says, but frankly I believe that, in a free country, two consenting adults ought to be able to do whatever they want with personal aircraft on their own property."

Vick has yet to respond to questions of whether he will keep the Weimaraner puppy or not. The football star's new website, currently under construction, is rumored to have a "name Mike's puppy" contest upon its launch later this year. Early contradictory reports suggest that Vick is already leaning toward "Boots" or "QB".

Matters may be further complicated by an email that found its way onto the web only hours after Vick received the gift from Lurie. The email is purported to have come from Quanis Philips, another defendant in the Bad Newz Kennels case who was released from prison just shortly before Vick. The email mentioned a "play date" and a link to a Google Maps page of what is assumed to be an undeveloped lot of state-owned land outside of Allentown.

Ticking Tabloid consulted animal psychologist Irwin Lowell on his interpretations of the puppy's body language in the leaked photos. According to Lowell, the puppy "looks calm, though his lack of curiosity at such a young age may lead to some issues with sympathy as he grows older." When asked if dogs are capable of feigning indifference in order to hide more intense emotions such as fear or anger, Lowell responded, "Heavens, no. Only a sociopathic human could do that, and who in their right mind would want to play with someone like that?"