Bono in Recovery After Ego-Related Back Injury

Last week, activist and U2 front man Paul David Hewson, who continues to insist that everyone call him Bono, was admitted to LMU University Hospital in Munich after suffering a moderate back injury. He is expected to make a full recovery, though U2's upcoming North American tour has been postponed for several months as a result. Though the band's publicists have been reluctant to reveal the exact cause of Bono's malady, the singer's doctors have been a bit more candid. Apparently, Bono was rehearsing a portion of the new stage show alone, naked, in front of a wall-sized mirror when the slowly building weight of his own ego became too much to bear. Spine specialists at LMU Hospital say that Bono's back troubles shouldn't be an issue in a few months and that he was lucky the incident happened in the presence of only his bandmates. Had the crush occurred in front of a full audience, Bono's ego would be unlikely to ever recover.

Details of Law and Order Cancellation Revealed

After twenty years on the air with NBC, the once-Emmy-winning police procedural drama Law and Order has been canceled. The series, which is famous for depicting true crime stories "ripped from the headlines" has spawned a number of successful spin-offs, including Law and Order: Special Victims Unit and Law and Order: Criminal Intent. In the upcoming fall TV season, the classic L&O will be replaced with Law and Order: Los Angeles. When asked why his flagship series has been shut down just one season shy of breaking the record, producer Dick Wolf explained that it wasn't a matter of ratings, but of integrity. "For twenty years we have dedicated ourselves to telling stories based on real events," says Wolf, "The city of New York has been a great source of material, but now it's time to move on. I would rather see this series end than be based on lies." When asked to elaborate, Mr. Wolf explained that there is no more actual crime in New York City and there hasn't been for several years. The Law and Order series finale covered the last capital crime ever committed in New York City and now the production company has to look elsewhere for new material. That is why the format is being picked up in Los Angeles, which is still a hotbed of criminal activity.

Simon Cowell Dishes on Prospective "Idol" Winner

Media guru Simon Cowell, who will officially leave his smash hit American Idol at the end of the current season, has been talking to members of the press about his pick for this year's Idol winner. When Ticking Tabloid had the chance to sit down with Cowell, he cut us off when we asked about the charm and singing talent of the remaining contestants. "Look," said Cowell, "I don't give a toss about that singing bollocks. We've been doing this thing for ten years and I think it's pretty obvious who the winner is every year: Me. Nobody cares about the next squeaky-clean pop singer that no one will ever hear from again after the season ends. But year after year, my bank account gets thicker and my girlfriends get hotter. That makes me the winner."