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Gordman’s Ad Renders Goth Girls Gruesome

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During the fifth grade, I went through what my family calls a “little goth phase.” I wore lots of black makeup, pewter jewelry of things like skulls and bats, and even took to wearing a Morticia Adams dress my mother had made herself for Halloween as a teen. (Yes, it was completely awesome.) Back then, it was pretty early for me to go through such a “phase” (and I put it in quotation marks because I still like to wear such jewelry and black nail polish—and would continue do the rest, probably, if I had the time and energy just because I like it), and I don’t remember anyone else dressing in such a way until junior high and high school. By then, I was in a more “earthy” phase (which I suppose I’m also still “into,” though today’s choices usually stem from whatever is sustainable, cheap, and used) and digging into my mom’s old bell-bottoms (which, unfortunately, did not fit—though they did inspire!).

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Ticking Tuesday News- Gibson, Phoenix and Juggalos Act Predictably

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Gibson Crash All Part of the Plan

Actor, director and noted bigot Mel Gibson officially enacted Step 77 of his long, complicated plan to self-destruct spectacularly over the course of several decades when he ran his 2008 Maserati into a hill in Malibu yesterday. Police are uncertain as to exactly how Gibson's car veered so far off the road, only that he wasn't intoxicated at the time. Or rather, intoxicated this time. Mel Gibson Analytic Specialists at Stanford University have theorized that the crash signaled a new stage in the life cycle of the actor's path of pain throughout the world. While his early exploits involved excessive drug use followed by a middle period of obsessive violence both in films and in real life, this new, still theoretical period will be characterized by random acts of inexplicable destruction. "We've been expecting his racism and antisemitism emissions to taper off for a while now," says Dr. Louis Chang of the Stanford team, "We're now keeping an eye out for unexplained window-shattering events and the occasional breaking of random children's toys." No word yet on how long this stage may last or what, if anything, will follow it.



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Aerosmith: Dream Over?

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Just when it seemed that things in the Aerosmith camp had cooled down - albeit with the "help" of lawyers and managers - things may be in disarray again. Lead singer Steven Tyler has been dropping hints that he will be one of the judges for American Idol's upcoming 10th season. This hasn't been confirmed by either American Idol or Fox Broadcasting, but it's left a very sore taste in the mouth of Joe Perry, who again finds himself wondering what happened to the band he and Tyler started in 1970.

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Tug of War In The August Heat

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A tug of war in the summer heat?

It is the summer time, August. What else is there to do? It's is too hot to think, and so the residents of two Mississippi River towns have figured out what to do. Why shouldn't they do it?

It is the time of their annual Tug of War contest. A sweaty, can get dirty and grimy, battle of brawn and grip in the crazy heat -- Leave the brains to the people wearing the straw hats. The people have come to chill, to have fun.

Everyone needs fun. If we don't do the silly-crazy now and then, take a break from the serious, take the time out to just have fun, our lives would be boring.. Those moments of play, when we do or watch things that exist for the sole purpose of making us laugh, are what keep us going. Hell, those moments keep the world going.

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Women in Kenya Face Rape During Toilet Use

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As a mom, I can tell you that I have mastered the art of holding it. In fact, I used to hold it even before I became a mother. I remember standing in lines at amusement parks, getting that nervous/excited pre-rollercoaster feel while in line that made me feel like I’d have to pee, and I’d tell my then-boyfriend, “I have to pee!” and he’d roll his eyes, knowing that A. I wouldn’t stop to pee and B. I would say the same thing in the next rollercoaster line. Maybe I’m just weird like that.

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Grilled Chicken Cancer Risk

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In a world where everything appears to give us cancer - Grilled Chicken can be added to the list.

That's right folks, the same grilled chicken you have been eating at your family BBQ because you thought it was more healthy than the diablo chili dogs, may cause cancer. How is this even possible? Well, grilled chicken contains PhIP, a cancer-causing chemical. PhIP and other heterocyclic amines are formed from the creatinine, amino acids, and sugar found in muscle tissue, and are produced by the presence of hot internal and external heat and lengthy cooking times. Heterocyclic amines can bind directly to DNA and cause mutations which can be be the first step in cancer production in your body.

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10 Awesome Chopped Spinoffs, Part II

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5. Comedians

Comedians must come up with all new material during the appetizer round. Material must surround topics provided by the game. In Round II, comedians have to perform the material in front of a rowdy bar crowd and make the customers laugh at least 75% of the time. In round III, they must take turns dodging thrown vegetables, drinks, and chairs, with the most points going to the person who sustains the least amount of injuries.

4. CPAs

Each accountant must sign, stamp, and seal as many papers as possible in ten minutes. During round II, a complete audit of a major, unsavory corporation (Enron, Halliburton, ect.) must be conducted within 30 minutes. In round III, each accountant must explain the ins and outs of financial, estate, and tax planning and preparation to a client without making him or her fall asleep.

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Dina Lohan - Still World's Best Mom

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On the Today show this morning dreamy (balding) Matt Lauer interviewed everyones favorite mom - Dina Lohan! One of the most "important" questions Matt asked wast about how Lindsey is doing in rehab. The response by the Mother of the Year award winner "She's great. She's been through a lot. The judge played hardball. Lindsay was in prison with alleged murderers, and she's become friends with a lot of them. Lindsay's rolled with the punches and she's doing wonderfully."

Shes doing wonderfully with her new friends that like to murder people? What? Dina, "pumpkin tits" (my petname for her), are you freebasing? How is there anything wonderful about being pals with murderers - even if they only "allegedly" took PCP, got naked, and stabbed someone to death behind a Quiznos?

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Eat, Pray, Love – Women in Charge of Their Lives

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Women have always been thought of as “the weaker sex." Now the world is finally becoming aware that women are no longer weak and are also taking charge of their lives.

In the book and the movie “Eat, Pray, Love,” one woman takes an enormous risk by getting a divorce and traveling the world alone in search of herself. Traveling worldwide may seem extreme to some, but to really find herself this woman felt that she had to gain distance from all that was comfortable for her.

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Out of Tune: Music Movies That Insult The Scenes They Celebrate

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The film industry should never be trusted to properly depict a current subculture. It takes a long time to make a movie, so long that the people of any given subculture have probably moved on by the time a script can even get funding. This slowness combined with the tendency of producers to protect their investments with art-killing mass appeal is a recipe for disaster when making a film about an ephemeral party culture. Whether it's a cash-in or a genuine labor of love, a music movie has a better chance of missing the point than it does of actually capturing the essence of the scene it celebrates.



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